Everything is connected

Two hearts fading, like a flower.
And all this waiting, for the power.
For some answer, to this fire.
Sinking slowly. The water’s higher.
Desire

With no secrets. No obsession.
This time I’m speeding with no direction.
Without a reason. What is this fire?
Burning slowly. My one and only.
Desire

You know me. You don’t mind waiting.
You just can’t show me, but God I’m praying,
That you’ll find me, and that you’ll see me,
That you run and never tire.

Desire

Figure me out. Or not! You are not supposed to understand any of this.We have gone to making no sense to making less sense and taken a step backwards but everything happens eventually. Jaded, broken yet still thriving and aspiring towards something more.Wishes might looks like wishes until they come true. And they usually happen on worst possible times. Deal with it! What's next? Self-deception through deflection? Ha, if you understood any of this. Power to you! Makes all sense in my head.

The Space Between The Wiced Lies We Tell

Ha! You don't want to know! 

Text Analysis, Phonetics, Practical Grammar, German, Writing Course- all in one session. I kind of sense failure coming but I try really hard to change that. Speaking of which. Something feels different. Funny. Only I am capable of finding myself a nw fa band at 2.30 am. Crazy! Can't seep lately until 3am-ish and then I wake at 9 ish. So not healthy. 

To many shows to watch: Glee, House, Bones, Private Practice, Brothers&Sisters, CSI: NY!

And keepin' on keepin' on! Because really there us no other way.

Uhm ...Wait! What?

Can I go back? Back to not having responsibilities, back to being a kid? I think my grown-up time is over, I don't want to do this anymore. Deadlines..... there are deadlines for everything. Feel like I am failing again and I am starting to give up hope that I could ever be able to do anything else than fail. People think I am capable... I believed them.... I still want to believe... bu I can't.

You look in the mirror
But you don't like what you see
Whoever it is you think you are today
That's not who you want to be
The grass is looking greener
In that field across the road

 And I cannot meet the expectations others set for me, not to mention the expectations I set for myself. Pathetic really.Bittersweet too, sometimes. 

Sick and tired again. Seems it's my permanent state of mind . I f-ing hate this all.

Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

They're all wasted!

And I Am Broken By You!

Haver to admit that people are hypocrites. Everyone lies, as House says. Couldn't agree more. Either way I don't need those weepy wannabes around me. Have seen enough of those in the past. Should know better. Shrug it off and move on and get over yourself. 

Lately only things thriving me are things that doesn't mean anything to others and they are not supposed to. Because they are mine. Mine only and they can't know or feel what I do and vice versa. And I cannot blame them for being human , for being stupid for making mistakes. Because I am too, a human, I am also stupid and make mistakes. Plenty of mistakes. Looking back seems I have had failure after failure but that's past and I can't change that.

Pain is the price you pay for every precious thing!

Broken - Livingston

City Of Silver Dreams

Kes küll viitsiks minu eest õppida?

seep seebiks aga....

MA EI TEA!
Mhm reede damn!

Eye of the storm

Naljakas kui tühine kõik näib. Aja raiskamine , rügame aga rügame ja kuhugi ei jõua. Tore ...
Ainult muusika ja sõbrad hoiavadki püsti.

Hirmasti tahaks ära.

Kikko's Song - The Bacon Brothers

There's gotta be something more...

Oli mul vaja siia Eestisse tagasi tulla???? OLI VÄ? Ei olnud , omad vitsad peksavad. Ei soka enam olla ei siin ei seal, kahe vahel pendeldan ainult. Ja mis elu see siin on fakk riik istub kahe jalaga seljas ja nõuab ja nõab ja nõuab. Perse käigu kõik see jama siin. Mina tahan tagasi Hollandisse!

Those stars burn like diamonds....

Maailma naljakas on olla. Ja nii suvi on ,et vähe pole. Kui päike siis niisama igalpool kui vihm siis toas koos Harry Potteri ja kakaoga.
Ja Wild At Heart - Gloriana on ametlikult selle suve parim lugu!
16 päeva veel!
XD

Walking Back The Cat

Hah. Sogane elu! Tegin 360 kraadise pöörde Tartu heaks ja Tallinna kahjuks. Tundub õige ja eks elame-näeme...
Maailma veider otsus aga tundub õige. Ja ma ei kahetse midagi.
Uut The Closeri osa pole veel üleval! Ja ma ootan ja ootan ,et äkki juba näen.
Kadi-Liis tule koju!

Sing 'til you're breaking glass Or you're breaking down

Kõik on nii naljakas hetkel ,et ainult naeraks. Lihtsalt. Nagu lollakas!
Ja maalimine on maailma mõnus tegevus. Ja jätkuvalt Tallinn-korterid-Triinu-Martin-The Closer-twitter ring... välja murraks ,oleks hea. Aga kas tahangi!
Damn facebook tekitab ka sõltuvust!
Mhm.... Ja keegi võiks teha minu eest minu tegemata asju! Oleks tore! Thank Yew.Thank yew so ,so much!

Little Red Balloon

Eilne Tallinnas käik oli eeeeckkkkk... Ma olin nii väsinud hiljem. Käisime 3 korterit vaatamas. Ja ei tea, igal korteril oli midagi viga. Järgmine kolmapäev siis teine katse. Loodame ,et mu lemmik on okei! *fingers crossed*

The Closeri s5e1 oli fantastico! Väga väga hea osa. Vaene Kitty!!!!!!!!! :(
Ja ma sain endale maalimislõuendi ja pintsleid ja siis Cat teatas ,et ta saatis mulle veel 20 pintslit ja kolm karpi värve XD . Tahaks juba oma pakki kätte saada! Äkki homme!

Igatsen Wii'd!

Fritzy: Play Nice with other children!

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun...

Naljakas kuidas ühest heast uudistest piisab ,et tuju 360 kraadise pöörde teeks.
Aga samas oli ju ka teisi, mis üle pika aja rõõmustasid.
Ja põnevusega ootan järgmist nädalat kui kortereid uudistama lähme. Ja peaks endale ikka ühed punased kingad muretsema. Burgundy shoes ju :)
The Closeri 5 hooaeg algab esmaspäeval Juhhheeeiiii!!!!
Ja nii palju ootab eest. Põnev, põnev.
Ahjaa ja ma thatsin jagada teiega maailma armast vintage riiete poodi.
ModCloth
Here you are, enjoy!
Ja chatbox on siis ka kuskil blogis olemas, kui klikite lausel All This Time siis voila!
Kuna kommentaare siia blogisse jätta ei saa, sii tuli midagi muud välja mõtelda.

Someone else's tomorrow

Aega on nii väheeee ja nii palju oleks ikka vaja teha. Ja eilne Aaliyah Bedwelli juhtum ajas mu nii segadusse , et ma siiamaani ei saa aru mis toimub.
Aga ootusärevus on...ja on ka põhjust!
1999 aasta Columbine'i info lugemine ajab ihukarvad püsti!

Burgundy Shoes

Ma lihtsalt ei taha enam.
Lühidalt öeldes siis : Fuckity-fuck-fuck!
Ja muusika on ainus mis hetkel aitab, sest inimeste sõnadest lihtsalt ei piisa. Täna ma ei suhtle!


The leaves are green and new like a baby
Tulips are red, now I don't miss the snow
It's the first day I don't wear my big boots
You hold my hand, I've got burgundy shoes
Burgundy shoes, burgundy shoes
Sun
(Burgundy Shoes - Patty Griffin)

With all this rain falling down

Ilus.Kas Pole!? Tegin oma blogi ilusaks, kõik lingid ja muud jamad on küljepeale laulusõnade alla ära peidetud ja olemas on ka Tagboxi asjake...kuskil... eks siis avaldage arvamust uue blogi väljanägemise üle .
Aga vihm on kuidagi omamoodi lohutav isegi! Ja ma ei oska ennast eesti keeles väljendada lihtsalt enam.. kõik mida ütlen tundub võlts ja kõlab kui klišee (Ja ma ei soka seda sõna vist isegi kirjutada..inglise keeles on lihtne cliché)... aga ometi Inglise keeles on kõik ikka nii ilus. Ausalt ka. Ja ma lihtsalt ei jaksa enam olla.


It's hard to listen to a hard hard heart
Beating close to mine
Pounding up against the stone and steel
Walls that won't climb
Sometimes a hurt is so deep deep deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep weep weep
With all this rain falling down

Strange how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain
(Patty griffin - Rain)

Serving The King

SGT Gabriel says: "You know something is bothering me a little. This whole CIA thing. I don't know how much I trust them. You know how I feel about the people that work there."

Brenda responds: "I know, it is a 'gray area'. I remember once hearing a speech about what it meant to be an officer of the CIA. And the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we are always fighting the same fight. And he used the dark ages as an example.

He talked about how one side you had the pragmatic King who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advatange of people whenever he could. On the other side you had the idealistic church forcing everyone to follow the same rules and believe the same things.

Neither the King nor the Church was ever completely right. Both sides ended up doing terrible things to get what they wanted. Really terrible things.

The point of the story was this, that this struggle from the dark ages had been going on forever. That the church and the King might take on different forms and philosophies, but they would always fight each other. Pragmatists and Idealists. And that most times, you are better off standing on the sidelines and letting them duke it out.

But every once and a while, one side or the other decides it might be better to just blow up the whole world just to get its own way. And when that happens, you can't stand on the sidelines anymore. You have to pick a team.

And so for tonight, anyway, we are serving the King!
The Closer - Season 2 Episodes 14&15 - Serving The King!

Billy says, he loves to be an invisible dog!

Fritz: You know, when you think about it, do we ever really know what Kitty's doing when our backs are turned? She's probably partying every day when we're at work, inviting other cats over, smoking the catnip, scratching herself in odd places.. (Season 2 Episode 13:Overkill)


Ja mul ei ole midagi muud lisada kui Fritzy says you have a right to remain silent!
Aega on liiga vähe!

Eeeck!

Ja kolm viimast Pushing Daisies'i osa on vaja ära vaadata..... kurb on .... kuradi ABC!

I would like to have answers before I ask questions!

Eheeee.... mingi kiire aeg on koguaeg. Lapsevalves ja muud asjad ja blogi ja challengeid jms.
Täna leidsin natuke aega ,et The Closerit vaadata ja ,et 8. Juuni viiendaks hooajaks valmis olla :D
Fritzyyyyyyyyyyyy on niiii armas XD
Ja uued Maddie videod on ka numpsid ma juba vaatasin ,et malta koera kutsikad ei olgi nii kallid kui ma arvasin heh. Nii äge!
Kuigi 2 kuud kodus oldud tahaks juba ära.... ja Debbie kutsus külla Texasesse.....kiusatus on oma 100 asja kokku panna ja minema tõmmata.

One Teddy-Bear At The Time!

Minu ja Cati ühistööna siis nägi ilmavalgust täna meie lasteväärkohtlemist käsitlev blogi!

Fighting Against Child Abuse Blog

The Best Day!

I'm five years old and it's getting cold
I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides
Look now the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop till I forget their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel ok
But I know I had the best day with you today

i have an excellent father
His strength is makking me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out he's better than I am



I grew up in a pretty house and i had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video i found from back when i was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lad in the whole wide world

Now i know why all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine and I didn't know if you knew
So I'm taking this chance to say that i had the best day with you today

Kas meie jaoks jõgi siin lõpeb või algab?

Nüüd jõgedes vesi on jälle nii madal
Sa ära mind vaata kui lähen sealt läbi
Ma olen nii paljas ja veidi on häbi
Ma kardan, ma kardan sa nägid mind läbi

Et viin sind selleks , et peaksid veidi
kuivemaks väänama väikese kleidi
Viin sind selleks , et peaksid veidi
kuivemaks väänama väikese kleidi.

Ma ootan ja vaatan sind teiselpool kaldal
Kas mõtelnud oled mis teiselpool algab?
Nüüd varjud on pikad ja varsti on pime
Sa varbaga tonksad jõe libedaid kive

Ma tean kuidas vesi su jalgasid paitab
Ei mina nii oska , las jõgi mind aitab
Tean kuidas jõgi sind kaasa võiks viia
Kuid sina ei lähe, sa teel oled siia

Juba sa jõuad ja mööda su jalgu
jõevesi tagasi jõe poole valgub
Tean kuidas hetke eest tundsid sa tõde
kui puutusid jalaga voolavat jõge

Et viin sind selleks , et peaksid veidi
kuivemaks väänama väikese kleidi
Viin sind selleks , et näha siit kaldalt
kas meie jaoks jõgi siin lõpeb või algab

Sa tilgud mu kõrval , ma olen nii peatu
Nii vaikne kui jõgi , mis eales ei peatu
Nüüd teraselt vaatad silma sa mulle
ja ootad kas ütelda julgen ma sulle

Et viin sind selleks , et peaksid veidi
kuivemaks väänama väikese kleidi
Viin sind selleks , et näha siit kaldalt
kas meie jaoks jõgi siin lõpeb või algab

Viin sind selleks , et külma eest kaitsta
ja hommikust udu su põskedelt maitsta
Viin sind selleks , et otsiksid sooja
kui kuu pole tõusnud ja päike läind looja

Viin sind selleks , et küsida sinult
kas kamspun on kaasas või sooja saad minult
Viin sind selleks , et mõista sul anda
edasi tahaksin ise sind kanda

Kas meie jaoks jõgi siin lõpeb või algab?
(Jaan Tätte - Sina Ja Jõgi)

Is it having so little and yet having it all ?

Mida öelda lohutuseks inimesele, kes kaotas selle ,mida ta kõige rohkem elus ihkas? Kuidas aidata sellest tohutust hingevalust üle saada? ma ei oska... ausalt ka ma lihtsalt ei oska... hing on tema ja kõige juhtunu pärast valus ja ma ei oska teda mitte kuidagi aidata ehk see ongi see kõige hullem osa?







Is it making you laugh
Is it letting you cry
Is it where we believe that we go when we die
Is it how you were made
Is it your mother's ghost
Is it the wish that I'm wishing for your life, for your life, for your life the most

Unfairest of all!

God Damn it... what kind of world do we live in when a woman who has had ovarian cancer twice is losing her child? Fuck this is one screwed up world. This is so unfair Rhea, so unfair!
You picked out the name, clothes the freaking nursery furniture and now this???????
You don't deserve this, Lord know you don't! And I don't know what to say or do because this is just way out of everyone's hands now. Borrowed angels huh? Well this time... the time what was given was way too short...and I cry, I cry for you Rhea and for your child because I don't know what else to do.
Yesterday everything was fine and then today....
DOES EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SO UNFAIR?

As for your mother Rhea...karma's a bitch and she'll get her punishment when time's right!

Yeah you may never know, how fast that you can go, Till someone lifts your feet up off the ground

Missed my alarm clock ringing
Woke up telephone screaming
Boss man singing his same old song
Rolled in late about an hour
No cup of coffee, no shower
Walk of shame with two different shoes on

Now it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is It happens

My trusty rusty had a flat I borrowed my neighbor's Cadillac I'll be right back
Goin' down to Wally World

That yellow light turned red to quickly
Knew that truck the moment it hit me
Out stepped my ex and his new girl
"Sorry 'bout your neck baby"

But it is poor me, why me, oh me
Boring the same old worn out blah blah story
There is no good explanation for it at all

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is It happens

Ain't no rhyme or reason
No complicated meaning
Ain't no need to over think it
Let go laughing
Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand
Irrefutable, indisputable
The fact is
Yeah, the irrefutable, indisputable
Absoluteable, totally beautiful
Fact is it happens

And That's My New Philosophy!

Reedel maale, juhhei! saab äkki ka need asjad tehtud , mida ma siimamaani edasi olen lükanud aka photoshopi tööd. Loodan ainult, et vihma sadama ei haka O_O Sest Vanaemal oli veits abi tarvis aiatöödel saab ka näpud mullaseks :D

Aga fakt on see,et ma PEAN oma photoshopiga ühelepoole saama !!!!!

Palju Õnne Venna!

And Every Day Is A Start Of Something Beautiful

We sing because we can't speak anymore.

And in the end the words won't matter 'Cause in the end nothing stays the same And in the end dreams just scatter and fall like rain

'Cause all we are we are All we are we are And every day is a start of something beautiful, something real
(Matt Nathanson-All We Are)

"Ah don't know innythang about it, but Ah kin larn it."

Eksam tehtud ja nüüd on vaid aeg mõnusat ilma nautida. Jämine nädal maale , saab veidike ka puhata ilmselt ja Vanaemal on abi vaja. Samas Emmel ka, nii ,et ma veel ei tea kuidas seda planeerida.

Kadikale edu füüsika eksamiks, mida ta nii hullult eile tuupis. Aga kohv oli hea ja päike soe ja mõnus oli.

Rhea sain ka lõpuks kätte, õnneks.

Päike on nii mõnus ja shokolaad nii hea!

What am I supposed to do, dispense Gummy Bears?

"We should have dinner at Mudfuckers", says Mom. "They have every kind of burger you might possibly want." "I think you mean Fuddruckers,Mom." "Yes that's what I said." "You said Mudfuckers." "What? I would never say Mudfuckers.Jerry, I didn't say Mudfuckers, did I?
(A Little Bit Wicked- Love,Life And Faith In Stages. p.60 I DO NOT OWN THE COPYRIGHT)

And for the reference dear Cheno, Estonia does not have mountains! (little error on page 167.) Error that made me laugh for about 15-20 minutes!

What Would A Bunny Do?

Ma sain täna KC raamatu kätte.
Väriseva käega allkirja andes ei jõudnud ma ära oodata kuni postiljon lahkub. Ja kui ma viimaks ta järel ukse sulgesin siis ja sõna osteses mõttes kiljusin rõõmust. Pakki lahti rebides, lõikasin terava servaga endale kätte haaaaaa... ja selle asemel ,et haava puhastama minna vms mina läksin magamistuppa ja jõllitasin kaant tervelt 2 minutit enne kui aru sain ,et ma verest aeglaselt tühjaks jooksen. Kummaline kuidas üks kauaoodatud raamat sellist mõju avaldab.
Viimaks kui haav puhas ja plaaster peal , avasin ma kaane. APPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kasutadest Mary Poppinsi sõnu : " Raamat on SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!!!!!"
See raaamat on kõike mida ma ootasin ja veelgi rohkem. Iga lehekülg on justkui kuldaväärt, iga mälestus eriline ja siiras. Ja kõigest kumab läbi Kristini armastus elu ja teiste inimeste vastu.
Ega jah , talle tuleb au anda. Pole lihtne ennast maksma panna kui sa oled kõigest 145 cm pikk. Ja pidevalt "You are too little" kuulmine ajaks kõigil kopsu üle maksa aga väga hea näide tema iseloomust :

In eight grade, when a girl named Jill cornered me in girls' bathroom and said, "Why are you so freakin' happy all the time? It makes me want to beat you up." Half of her size and astonished ,I stammered, "But-but look at me. I'm not even worth the punch." (Kristin Chenoweth, A Little Bit Wicked- Life,Love And Faith In Stages. p39. I DO NOT OWN THE COPYRIGHT)

Ja kõik , mis tema elus juhtunud on , on põimitud sõbraliku huumoriga, mis on imetlusväärne.
Maailma hea raamat ja ma ei kahlenud hetkegi ,et see midagi vähemat oleks.
Cheno on imetlusväärne , mul lihtsalt ei ole sõnu!!!!! Maailma andekas, naljakas, ilus ja kohutavalt väike ning armastusväärne!

It Is What It Is. Unless It Isn't!

Ellie küsis mult täna, et mis ta oma eluga peale hakkab pärast keskkooli lõppu ja siis ma kirjutasin talle oma 100 kilomeetrise jutu:

Been there done that! A year ago I was struggling with the same thing. Though my parents didn't pressure me, they gave me free hands to do whatever I wanted to do, so I skipped a year. And I have to say so far I'm totally happy with my decision. I lived in The Netherlands for over half a year, experienced new stuff and get to know myself better. This year I have done a lot of thinking and set new perspectives in my life. I'm completely different person and I'm now making decisions I wouldn't have been able to make a year ago. Also there is a possibility that you might feel that you don't want to go to the college at all after that gap year, a lot of my friends went straight to work, but I know that I'm going to uni, starting from fall and if everything goes well I can study things I really want to, not what I'm supposed to. This gap year has taught me so much more than 12 years of school all together and most importantly it has taught me how to take care of myself when no one else is around and you're in completely different environment. So in short( because my post is already a kilometer long) I'd say go for it. Go for whatever feels right for you, because in the end it's your life, your decisions and we can't always make ourselves tiny in order to please other people. Do you really want to look back at your life in about 10-20 years and think "why on earth did I listen to them and not my own heart?" Trust yourself. And if you do make mistakes then they are your mistakes and that's something no one can take away from you! So Godspeed, my dear!

:D Mingi eriti diip tekst aga nii ta on.
Ja kui postiljon kohe KC raamatuga ei tule siis ma lähen kellelegi kallale.
Ja loll olen ,kuna pole orkutis oma locationit ikka ära muutnud.
Tänks Martin, sa tead ise ka mille eest XD
Ja Maikuu ei mängi välja ehk siis tuleb lükata Juunisse aga kõigepealt tuleb laupäeval kirjandit kirjutama minna! Mitte ,et ma seda väga põnevusega ootaks!

Ja ma nägin unes ,et karu tuli meile maale õuepeale jälle. Ma jätkuvalt näen seda unes...haige värk aga seekord sõi ta mu koera ära! O_O Ma ärkasin jälle nuttes üles. Ja ma tean ,et ta on vana ja ta silmad on juba hallid aga ikkagi on kurb teada ,et ta varsti läheb :(

But I guess it is what it is.


Unless it isn't!

So if you care to find me Look to the Western sky! As someone told me lately Everyone deserves the chance to fly.

Kristi completed the quiz "What Musical are you?" with the result Wicked.

You love so fiercly that it may be percieved as intimidating to some people. But you always stand by your convictions and causes. Nothing can stand in your way. You have few BEST friends but you are one of the most loyal friends they'll ever have. You are prone to being mistaken for mean or fierce when really you know that you're doing what's right. No one mourns the wicked..


Hahaaa.... ega ma poleks midagi muud oodanudki!
See tulemus oli absoluutselt vältimatu!

Oh look - a dumb idea just found a friend!

Olive: Musing on the idea of setting someone on fire doesn't mean you really want to set them on fire, it's just the thought of it that makes you happy, but only for a second and then you feel bad, but that second can be a lot of fun!(Pushing Daisies: s1E06: Bitches)


Uni on ikka silmas , aga magada ei saa.
Pean poes käima. Ilmselt ostan jäätist ja pirukamaterjali ka. Speaking of which. PieHole on maailma armas pirukakohvik. Mis siis ,et ta tegelikult ei eksisteeri aga ma tahaks ,et keegi ka päriselt sellist kohta peaks. Therefore mul tuli mõte ,et teeks täna pirukat. Ja ma pole ikka 3-e vimmast PD osa näinud!O_O

Ned: You’re the only one for me.
Chuck: I know you feel that now, but there are things you want.
Ned: So? Everyone wants stuff, we wake up every day with list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy. (Pushing Daisies: S1E06:Bitches)

Piemaker!

Ned: Everything we do is a choice: oatmeal or cereal, highway or side street, kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do.(Pushing Daisies S1 Epsiode Fun At The Funeral)
*Picture credit goes to Fanpop*

Eilne:
16 ja pool tundi DVDsid.
Private Practice season 1
Pushing Daisies season 1
It Crowd 3 Episoodi.
The Closer 1 Episood.
Hea söök
Nali ja naer.
3 tundi und
Buss.


Ja kuidagi maagiline on ,et Chuck ja Ned Pushing Daisies'is kunagi üksteist puutuda ei saa.

BatGirl Only Sleeps In Total Darkness!

Addison Montgomery: Today is one of those days...when I slip and make mistakes. Bad mistakes...And times like these I need something, someone to help me and...
Charlotte King: And you end up falling off your wagon... Whoever your wagon might be...

(Private Practice, Season 1, episode 7 In Which Cooper Finds A Port To His Storm)

Once Again

Olen toeks neile, kel vaja ja kui mul vaja on, jooksevad kõik minema.
Võltshuvi ja kaastunne ajab iiveldama, once again!

Words Of Wisdom!

“After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and changing a soul. You begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises. And you start to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain. After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong, and you really do have worth. You learn that with every goodbye, there’s a hello. Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Fall in love. Be random. Say I love you. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Drink until the bottle’s empty. Sing out loud. Tell an asshole how you feel. Let someone know what they’re missing. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Live Life.”

What Country Is Super Slow Mo From? Israel?I don't know!

"We have this strength inside of us and yet we are taught to always sort of keep it down. I sort of found in my life that I've taken a step back and made myself smaller in order to try to fit in. And that hasn't worked. And we have to learn to kind of embrace what makes us unique, and embrace our strength and then if people don't like it, fuck it." (Idina Menzel)

Täna siis lastakse Kristini uus raamat välja !!!!!!!!!
On lootust ,et Krisostomus toob selle koahel umbes nädalaga, heal juhul.
Bleh, mulle ei meeldi oodata!
Aga ma olen laisk olnud ja pole tööasju teinud, inimesed juba nõuavad. Peab ennast kokkuvõtma !

Ja ma mõtlen ,et reede tuleb äge, kui mingeid plaanimuutusi ei ole. Ja täna õhtul on House!

Ja Private Practice algab 23. Aprill uuesti!

Ja kes pealkirjast aru ei saanud siis for the reference:

Idina Menzel @ Zipper Theatre Concert:
"During the Olympics, I was actually at sleep-away camp, and we couldn't watch it - So that when we came home, my friend had video taped like hours of the Mary Lou Rhetton gymnastics that we had missed. And we watched ALL day, we watched all these hours of video tape, and the WHOLE day we're watching the girls by, blah blah blah blah blah - And the whole time at the bottom it says 'Super Slow Mo.' So finally it's like 3 o'clock in the afternoon, we were watching it like at a slumber party and I turned to my friend and I was like: 'WHO the hell--What country is SuPer Shlow MO from?? Israel? I don't know!'"

Ja minge lugege The Pioneer Womani blogi, ta on ikka andekas!

Quick, Like A Bunny

Eeeeeck.... ma nägin unes ,et Keith Urban mõrvati ja ärkasin üles nuttes. Väga huvitav!
Aga siiamaani on jube olla!
Tere veider, alateadvus!
*knock on the wood*
Aga teisel teemal ,siis õnne Idinale ja Tayle, kes perelisa ootavad!
Ja eks see nüüd anna ainet jälle nendele ,kes neile mingied ähvardukirju saatsid ,kui nad abiellusid. Aga nagu näha siis Love Knows No Color ja minu jaoks pole nahavärv nagunii oluline.Minu meelest on nad maailma armsad ja nii tore ,et nad nüüd koos Private Practice'is on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Picture Credit: Idina-Here Gallery

Mulle Kaks Palun!

Kristii! zegt:
you know I really liked that mental hospital with the nurses who had tails

Kristii! zegt:
it was nice one

Cat zegt:
was that a dream you had?

Kristii! zegt:
I am not sure

Kristii! zegt:
you were there also

Kristii! zegt:
hey juhuuuuuuu? taking here

Cat zegt:
:D

Kristii! zegt:
-_-

Cat zegt:
I am eating :D

Kristii! zegt:
why're you smiling?

Kristii! zegt:
you're so not cool -_-

Kristii! zegt:
Carmen collects stones and pebbles .

Cat zegt:
used to do that too

Kristii! zegt:
I belive she thinks she's a bird....but I'm too afraid to ask.

Cat zegt:
used to do that too, and look how I came out

Kristii! zegt:
yeap a bird that is !

Cat zegt:
I can do the shoulderstand!

Kristii! zegt:
but don't worry you're a nice bird!

Kristii! zegt:
:D

Kristii! zegt:
Yoga Master

Kristii! zegt:
make sure you tell that to any nice guy you meet...it's always impressive they get all sorts of ideas in their head

Kristii! zegt:
:P

Cat zegt:
-_-

Cat zegt:
didnt the trainer have a short ponytail ?

Cat zegt:
I swear he cut it off

Kristii! zegt:
he did?

Kristii! zegt:
I believe I told him to go the hairdressers ...I guess he took my advice then '

Cat zegt:
I swear he cut his hair!

Kristii! zegt:
weird things those digital people

Kristii! zegt:
you have to be carfeul what you say around them

Kristii! zegt:
careful*

Kristii! zegt:
maybe he has a crush on you

Cat zegt:
shut up

Kristii! zegt:
what?

Kristii! zegt:
i didn't say anything

Kristii! zegt:
voices in your head again ?

Tell Me How To Do It, Tell Me How I'm Gonna Get It Right...

Seoses Lori McKenna lauluga Ruby's Shoes ma mõtlesin ,et ei tea millest inspiratsioon sellist lugu kirjutada. Ja hea sõber Google oli jälegi abiks ja leidsin selle.


Don't own the story,all the rights belong to : http://www.rubybridges.com/
Story of Ruby!


I was born in Mississippi in 1954, the oldest child of Abon and Lucille Bridges. That year the United States handed down its landmark decision ordering the integration of public schools. Not that I knew anything about school at the time. What I knew and loved was growing up on the farm my paternal grandparents sharecropped.

It was a very hard life, though. My parents heard there were better opportunities in the city. We moved to New Orleans, where my father found work as a service station attendant, and my mother took night jobs to help support our growing family.

As I got a bit older, my job was to keep an eye on my younger brothers and sister, which wasn't too difficult. Except for church and the long walk to the all-black school where I went to kindergarten, our world didn't extend beyond our block. But that was all about to change.

Under federal court order, New Orleans public schools were finally forced to desegregate. In the spring of 1960 I took a test, along with other black kindergarteners in the city, to see who would go to an integrated school come September. That summer my parents learned I'd passed the test and had been selected to start first grade at William Frantz Public School.

My mother was all for it. My father wasn't. "We're just asking for trouble," he said. He thought things weren't going to change, and blacks and whites would never be treated as equals. Mama thought I would have an opportunity to get a better education if I went to the new school - and a chance for a good job later in life. My parents argued about it and prayed about it. Eventually my mother convinced my father that despite the risks, they had to take this step forward, not just for their own children, but for all black children.

A federal judge decreed that Monday, November 14, 1960 would be the day black children in New Orleans would go to school with white children. There were six of us chosen to integrate the city's public school system. Two decided to stay in their old schools. The other three were assigned to McDonough. I would be going to William Frantz alone.

The morning of November 14 federal marshals drove my mother and me the five blocks to William Frantz. In the car one of the men explained that when we arrived at the school two marshals would walk in front of us an two behind, so we'd be protected on both sides.

That reminded me of what Mama had taught us about God, that he is always there to protect us. "Ruby Nell," she said as we pulled up to my new school, "don't be afraid. There might be some people upset outside, but I'll be with you."

Sure enough, people shouted and shook their fist when we got out of the car, but to me it wasn't any noisier than Mardi Gras, I held my mother's hand and followed the marshals through the crowd, up the steps into the school.

We spent that whole day sitting in the principal's office. Through the window, I saw white parents pointing at us and yelling, then rushing their children out of the school. In the uproar I never got to my classroom.

The marshals drove my mother and me to school again the next day. I tried not to pay attention to the mob. Someone had a black doll in a coffin, and that scared me more than the nasty things people screamed at us.

A young white woman met us inside the building. She smiled at me. "Good morning, Ruby Nell," she said, just like Mama except with what I later learned was a Boston accent. "Welcome, I'm your new teacher, Mrs. Henry." She seemed nice, but I wasn't sure how to feel about her. I'd never been taught by a white teacher before.

Mrs. Henry took my mother and me to her second-floor classroom. All the desk were empty and she asked me to choose a seat. I picked one up front, and Mrs. Henry started teaching me the letters of the alphabet.

The next morning my mother told me she couldn't go to school with me. She had to work and look after my brothers and sister. "The marshals will take good car of you, Ruby Nell," Mama assured me. "Remember, if you get afraid, say your prayers. You can pray to God anytime, anywhere. He will always hear you."

That was how I started praying on the way to school. The things people yelled at me didn't seem to touch me. Prayer was my protection. After walking up the steps past the angry crowd, though, I was glad to see Mrs. Henry. She gave me a hug, and she sat right by my side instead of at the big teacher's desk in the front of the room. Day after day, it was just Mrs. Henry and me, working on my lessons.

Militant segregationists, as the news called them, took to the streets in protest, and riots erupted all over the city. My parents shielded me as best they could, but I knew problems had come to our family because I was going to the white school. My father was fired from his job. The white owners of a grocery store told us not to shop there anymore. Even my grandparents in Mississippi suffered. The owner of the land they'd sharecropped for 25 years said everyone knew it was their granddaughter causing trouble in New Orleans, and asked them to move.

At the same time, there were a few white families who braved the protests and kept their children in school. But they weren't in my class, so I didn't see them. People from around the country who'd heard about me on the news sent letters and donations. A neighbor gave my dad a job painting houses. Other folks baby-sat for us, watched our house to keep away troublemakers, even walked behind the marshal's car on my way to school. My family couldn't have made it without our friends' and neighbors' help.

And me, I couldn't have gotten through that year without Mrs. Henry. Sitting next to her in our classroom, just the two of us, I was able to forget the world outside. She made school fun. We did everything together. I couldn't go out in the schoolyard for recess, so right in that room we played games and for exercise we did jumping jacks to music.

I remember her explaining integration to me and why some people were against it. "It's not easy for people to change once they have gotten used to living a certain way," Mrs. Henry said. "Some of them don't know any better and they're afraid. But not everyone is like that."

Even though I was only six, I knew what she meant. The people I passed every morning as I walked up the schools steps were full of hate. They were white, but so was my teacher, who couldn't have been more different from them. She was one of the most loving people I had ever known. The greatest lesson I learned that year in Mrs. Henry's class was the lesson Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., tried to teach us all. Never judge people by the color of their skin. God makes each of us unique in ways that go much deeper. From her window, Mrs. Henry always watched me walk into school. One morning when I got to our classroom, she said she'd been surprised to see me talk to the mob. "I saw your lips moving," she said, "but I couldn't make out what you were saying to those people."

I wasn't talking to them," I told her. "I was praying for them." Usually I prayed in the car on the way to school, but that day I'd forgotten until I was in the crowd. Please be with me, I'd asked God, and be with those people too. Forgive them because they don't know what they're doing.

"Ruby Nell, you are truly someone special," Mrs. Henry whispered, giving me an even bigger hug than usual. She had this look on her face like my mother would get when I'd done something to make her proud.

Another person who helped me was Dr. Robert Coles, a child psychiatrist who happened to see me being escorted through the crowd outside my school. Dr. Coles volunteered to work with me through this ordeal. Soon he was coming to our house every week to talk with me about how I was doing in school.

Really, I was doing fine. I was always with people who wanted the best for me: my family, friends, and in school, my teacher. The more time I spent with Mrs. Henry, the more I grew to love her. I wanted to be like her. Soon, without realizing it, I had picked up her Boston accent.

Neither of us missed a single day of school that year. The crowd outside dwindled to just a few protestors, and before I knew it, it was June. For me, first grade ended much more quietly than it began. I said good-bye to Mrs. Henry, fully expecting her to be my teacher again in the fall.
But when I went back to school in September, everything was different. There were no marshals, no protestors. There were other kids - even some other black students - in my second-grade class. And Mrs. Henry was gone. I was devastated. Years later I found out she hadn't been invited to return to William Frantz, and she and her husband had moved back to Boston. It was almost as if that first year of school integration had never happened. No one talked about it. Everyone seemed to have put that difficult time behind them.

After a while, I did the same. I finished grade school at William Frantz and graduated from an integrated high school, went to business school and studied travel and tourism. For 15 years I worked as a travel agent. Eventually I married and threw myself into raising four sons in the city I grew up in.

I didn't give much thought to the events of my childhood until my youngest brother died in 1993. For a time, I looked after his daughters. They happened to be students at William Frantz, and when I took them there every morning, I was literally walking into my past, into the same school that I'd help integrate years earlier.

I began volunteering three days a week at William Frantz, working as a liaison between parents and the school. Still, I had the feeling God had brought me back in touch with my past for something beyond that. I struggled with it for a while. Finally I got on my knees and prayed, Lord, whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing, you'll have to show me.

Not long after that, a reporter called the school. The psychiatrist Robert Coles had written a children's book, The Story of Ruby Bridges; now everyone wanted to know what had happened to the little girl in the Norman Rockwell painting (See Picture Gallery) that had appeared in Look magazine. No one expected to find me back at William Frantz. Dr. Coles had often written about me, but this was the first book intended for children. To me it was God's way of keeping my story alive until I was able to tell it myself.

One of the best parts of the story is that I was finally reunited with my favorite teacher, Barbara Henry. She reached me through the publisher of Dr. Coles's book, and in 1995 we saw each other in person for the first time in more than three decades. The second she laid eyes on me, she cried, "Ruby Nell!" No one had called me that since I was a little girl. Then we were hugging each other, just like we used to every morning in first grade.

I didn't realize how much I had picked up from Mrs. Henry (I still have a hard time calling her anything else) - not only her Boston accent, but her mannerism too, such as how she tilts her head and gestures her hands when she talks. She showed me a tiny, dog-eared photo of me with my front teeth missing that she'd kept all these years. "I used to look at that picture and wonder how you were," she said. "I told my kids about you so often you were like part of my family."

We have stayed a part of each other's lives ever since. It turns out that because of what I went through on the front lines of the battle for school integration, people recognize my name and are eager to hear what I have to say about racism and education today. I speak to groups around the country, and when I visit schools, Mrs. Henry often comes with me. We tell kids our story and talk about the lessons of the past and how we can still learn from them today - especially that every child is a unique human being fashioned by God.

I tell them that another important thing I learned in first grade is that schools can be a place to bring people together - kids of all races and backgrounds. That's the work I focus on now, connecting our children through their schools. It's my way of continuing what God set in motion 40 years ago when he led me up the steps of William Frantz Public School and into a new world with my teacher, Mrs. Henry - a world that under his protection has reached for beyond just the two of us in that classroom.

Walk A Mile In Ruby's Shoes

Eile oli keeruline. Aga ta teab ,et ma tegin õigesti ,et ma kohe oma seisukoha selgeks tegin. Teisiti oleks vale olnud!
Mu akvarellipliiatsid ja hea muusika aitavad mõelda!
Igatsen tagasi!
Aga aitab halamisest. Cassie läks täna kortereid vaatama!
Kas kõlab kummaliselt kui ma ütlen ,et Angel on mu lemmik Drag Queen XD! hahaaaa..... aga päriselt ka!

Everything feels like confetti!

Ruby's shoes would take her
A mile or so to school every day
Where the white people hated her
They'd scream and hold signs and tell her to go away

But Ruby's will was stronger
Than the bigots with the signs could ever know
She stopped every morning on the corner
And prayed that someday the pain would go

And she'd stop and she'd pray
That all the hatred would go away
She was only six years old but she knew
Walk a mile in Ruby's shoes

Ruby sat alone in the classroom
She never dreamed the other children wouldn't come
They hated her for the color of her skin
Well color is such an amazing illusion

She'd stop and she'd pray
That all the hatred would go away
She was only six years old but she knew
Walk a mile in Ruby's shoes

Now Ruby knew about Dorothy
And the ruby shoes that she wore
She wondered about Oz sometimes
Well, well no other child ever walked her shoes before

And she'd stop and she'd pray
That all the hatred would go away
She was only six years old but she knew
Walk a mile in Ruby's shoes

Ruby, if birds can always fly
Why oh why can't you and I?

Ruby's shoes would take her
A mile or so to school every day
Where the white people hated her
They'd scream and hold signs and tell her to go away

And she'd stop and she'd pray
That all the hatred would go away
She'd stop and she'd pray
That no other children would be raised this way
Ruby's shoes

If birds can fly
Then why oh why
If birds can fly then why oh why can't I.

So close!

Reisiärevus mine ära!
Praegu tahaks jäätist ja Enchantedit vaadata!
Ja kurb on mõelda ,et homme tuleb hüvasti jätta!

Thank yew! Thank ya'll so so much!

Oleksid pidanud aimama,et eks kõik ise paika loksub. Ülemõtlemine on mu üks kohutavaim omadus ja ma lihtsalt ei saa sellest lahti.
Rääkisin täna emmega ja ta oli armas. Ja ütles armsaid asju mulle.
Samuti mainis ,et ta tahaks ,et ma Jõgevale töö leiaksin. Sorri emme aga see on võimatu.
Ja ma saan aru,et ta ei taha ,et ma läheks. Aga tegelikult olen ma juba ammu läinud ja tal tuleb sellega leppida. Seitse kuud välismaal ju!!!!! Ja nüüd Tallinnasse, kas Cassiega või mitte, see saab selgeks täna. Ja mis iganes Cassie otsus ka poleks, ma lähen ikka. Ja muidugi hakkan ma nädalavahetustel kodus käima!
Aga samas ta ütles,et ta saab aru, kui ma lähen, ehk siis sellega seoses andis mulle vabad käed.
Ja ma olen rõõmus teades,et järgmine nädal saangi koju ja kuigi siin on ka hea ja kõik siinne on justkui teine perekond ja teine maailm. Ja ma pole kindel kumb on parem ja kas ongi tarvis üht teisest kõrgemale asetada?
Aga ma üritan nüüd nautida oma vähest aega siin ja lähen parki kiikuma!

Sweet Goodbyes

Can't sleep 'cause everything's changing
You don't want to leave things behind
Can't breathe cause to many things going on going wrong in your life

Tears in your eyes
Sweet goodbyes
I know how you feel right now
Losing dreams you've come to care about
I know what you need right now
You need to come on home so I can hold you tight
Get you through the night
I'll get you through the night

Wake up the sun's shining bright lets go out of bed into the light
Shape up we won't forget still there's lots of love left to hold tight

Tears in your eyes
Sweet goodbyes
I know how you feel right now
Losing dreams you've come to care about
I know what you need right now
You need to come on home so I can hold you tight
Get you through the night

Everything I love between us will get us through the night
All the things we lost will teach us see the pretty things in life
All the places that we've been to
The people we relate to
All the love that we give in to

Blow the tears from our eyes
Sweet goodbyes
I know how you feel right now
Losing dreams you've come to care about
I know what you need right now
You need to come on home so I can hold you tight
I know how you feel right now
Losing dreams you've come to care about
I know what you need right now
You need to come on home so I can hold you tight
I'll get you through the night

Say it's possible

Jälle üks mõnus hommik.
Ma ikka nii armastan seda elu siin ,et ei teagi kuidas Eestis jälle hakkama saan. Inimesed siin on nii toredad ja rõõmsameelsed, vastutulelikud ja hoolivad. Ja ma tean ,et hakkan kõike siinset igatsema. Neid vanu jalgrattaid, kohvikuid ja restorane, laupäevaseid turulkäike, esmaspäevaseid maalimistunde, maitsvat toitu ja sooja kevadet.
Ja tagasi külmas Eestis, on kõik see vaid ajalugu.
Ja ma ei näegi tulbipõlde õitsemas!!!!!!!!!!
Siin on nii ilus kevad. Nartsisse on kõik kohad täis ja päike on nii soe!!!
Salli ja kindad panin ära kappi juba Veebruari keskel.
Positiivse küljena , kodus on Carmen, sõbrad, Martin, sugulased. Ja ma saan viimaks Tallinnasse korteri ja endale kaks kassitüdrukut. Ja saan alustada vabatahtlikutööd Loomakaitseseltsis ja Lastekaitseseltsis, mis annab jällegi võimaluse ennast proovile panna. Ja sügisel on kool.
Aga siiski jään ma igatsema siinset . Ikka ja alati. Kuid hea on teada ,et olen miljoni kogemuse võrra rikkam!
Kris

Seven seas...

No siin ma nüüd olen!
Oma Eesti keelse blogiga. Livejournal on väga inglise keelseks muutunud aga pole hullu.
Liiga palju ideid ja liiga väge aega.Kuigi jah mõnikord on asi oma laiskuse taga.
Aga suured plaanid on Maikuuks,eks vaatab kuidas on ja ma pean kirjutama kirjandit jälle. No ei pea, aga ise otsustasin.
Ja 1. Aprill koju jeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sp